Who is Coming For Christmas?

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Most of us think of Christmas as a time to be with our families and a chance to catch up with people we don’t see for most of the year. It can help to think of your less than welcome guests as providing next year’s great anecdotes. Who are the characters you share Christmas with?

What about Aunty Mavis’s somewhat aromatic friend Mary, who lives next door to her. “She’ll be all alone dear”. (Apart of course from her thirty cats, who rule the house.) Mary will insist on bringing round a dubious looking sherry trifle as her ‘contribution’. It bears the unmistakable signs of having already been sampled by some of her pets and contains either untraceably small amounts of sherry or enough to put you over the drink drive limit for a week! Even after she has gone home the strange aroma lingers. Until you trace it to something she brought in on her shoe which is now tastefully smeared on the edge of the new sofa. (Thank goodness furniture sales start Boxing Day).

Or maybe it’s the monosyllabic friend of your teenage daughter, who is only interested in taking her upstairs, or snogging with her on the sofa. What if he is ‘the one‘!

Your relationship with your spouse or partner often takes a back seat to accommodate all the other relationships that surface over Christmas. To make it a joyful and uplifting experience requires planning, teamwork and positive attitude of mind.

This exercise has potential for high emotion and entrenched positions on how we feel about each other’s family or friends and even some of our own. It’s therefore important to begin by remembering what’s important about your Christmas. If you’ve chosen “Having the best Christmas ever” how does does this affect who you share it with? How you feel about them has a major impact on achieving your objective.

First of all you need to maintain the sense of togetherness in your key relationship with each other. Go on have another hug. Hold in mind the positive visions, thoughts and feelings from your earlier discussions. Share in any ‘warm fuzzies’ from you past together.

Step 1 What’s your starting point?

Choose your cast of characters and make a list of the people who you’d like to see and those you think you should see over the Christmas period. I’ve started one for you on page four of the FREE resource pack, which you can download by following the link at the end of this article.

An example might be: Father; Mother; Brother; Sister Ann; Sister Elizabeth; Cousin Jane and Bob and their three children; Grandma and Gramps; Auntie Flo; Auntie Mavis & her friend Mary; Dave and Lucy and little John; The guys down the pub; The rugby team; The badminton club; Joe and Ben from work.

I’m not suggesting all these people will descend on you on the one day. It’s just important to think about the full cast of characters who could be involved in making this the “Best Christmas ever”.

Got the list sorted? Good. Have another hug and a few deep breaths before continuing.

Ask yourselves the following questions to arrive your lists into priority order:

Who needs to be at the top of your list and who can be at the bottom? Maybe give them a score out of 10. Where 1 is the last person you want to spend Christmas with and 10 is the person you most want to spend it with.

(A hint here for the men, give your partner the highest score!)

Note who you want to spend time with, who you are seeing out of duty and who you are including because they would otherwise be alone.

Note who you will visit and who you will invite to your home.

Consider how long you want to spend in their company.

write by Alula

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